Shit An Entire Two Year Hiatus

At this point do I even know how to blog anymore?

Welcome back to the ones that have been riding with me for all of these years. If you are new, welcome to my baby Wendolyn Mars. I started my brand as somewhere to teach people how to travel to pocket friendly places. From that stemmed some merchandise I felt was close to me and I wanted others to represent it too. From that I even dabbled in broadcasting for my college FAU.

Being a creative can be rewarding and overwhelming at times. When you make something come alive from your head to your audience it is an absolute euphoric feel. But when you get creative blocks in the mist of real life shit going on, it can become a bit discouraging and crippling to your craft. From a young age my favorite way to express myself to others was through writing. I know with so much going on in the audio world, blogging or forms of print seem to be lost. I do know that some of us out here (like myself) still thoroughly enjoy a sweet read. I have been meaning to get back into writing; and not to make it an excuse, but life will really shift shit around. I am ready, put me in coach !! With all of the shit going on in the world I have to be expressive and vulnerable. I want to be able to speak life into others, show my shortcomings and my elevations alike. A lot of times we only show the pretty side of things; we need to show the reality of how difficult life can be. But even in showing the ugly, I show my faith for my God and the things I am able to overcome is not to be fucked with.

What’s to come in the blogging life?

I want to come back into blogging speaking more on my personal life; my experiences, my fucking up, my leveling up, my ideas. I will still be adding places that are fun and sweet on the pockets. Mostly because I love to get people out of the house. But overall I want a place to express myself and give others a place to express themselves publicly or to me, privately. I also want to have an area where businesses can contact me for promotions on my website or my other social networks. I hope to drop something once a week. I am excited to get more into my creative juices. Currently I am working on pre-orders for a new shirt design; it highlights my pride for being a product for immigrants. I have been on a sweet health journey too. Eating less meat, more greens. Fasting once a month and really allowing my mind, body and soul to heal and strengthen me up for my long life. I am enjoying being more in tune with myself, hence the creative flow coming back to life. I love good criticism, please do not hesitate to give me feedback. Tell me where I lack, tell me what you’d like to see ! This post was short, but it was mostly to tell you all that I am back and excited to give you all content on this side ! New and old supporters, you are all appreciated galore xo

Love And Allow to be Loved

I love to end my blogs with this ! This has no specific meaning to it. It can mean anything to anyone and it would NOT be a wrong answer/description for it ! For me it means that when you love something (a craft, a location, a job, a human) when you allow it to love you back, you can only elevate. Only greatness can come from bringing together positive entities and wanting MORE!

Hardships Turned Into Blessings

I want everyone to take this title as literal as they come. If you are not taking something good from a horrible situation, you need to keep the hunt going. Letting you all into my personal life is never for pity, its so that others are able to see that I am human and have my lows just like you all do at one point or another. I hope that someone will be able to relate to something I go through someday whether it be good or bad and just better themselves in general.

This was all back in about May to about July of this year. I lost my job, lost my lover, and the worse loss of all my faith in God. Even if it was for only a day, it was lost. This isn't in any way a blog to shove religion down your throat, but Jesus is my savior and he has taken me out of so many deep holes and I am grateful for how merciful and giving he is with me.

Moving along, back in about April I had suddenly been let off from my job. It was very unprofessional, distasteful and in my opinion unfair. If you have been let off from an employer in Florida you know that they do not need a real reason to let you go anyway. I was literally told by someone who is not even legally part of the company "you are great with what you do, I enjoy how you treat my customers, but the gossiping of others led you to lose your job." Correct me if I'm wrong but I do not see how that had anything to do with how I work or how well I treated my customers. But at the end of the day it is all good, relationships were broken but all is forgiven on my side. So at this point I am jobless and soon to be (at the time) moving cross country to move in with my lover. So I am stuck babysitting, giving driving lessons and helping my mother at her beauty salon just to make credit card payments, have gas and save the tiny bit I could for my big move.

Now I am due to leave to Los Angeles for early July so I am trying to scrape up my bit of money and get all my things ready for my big move. So as I get closer to making my big move, my lover at the time begins to get very hostile, disrespectful and distant with me. I decide to call off my trip for obvious reasons. I was in a verbally abusive relationship where I was taken for granted and did not have any emotional support. If you are not being respected in any type of relationship then you do not need to stick around. He was always extremely controlling and I at the time thought it was just his way of showing how much he loved me. When in reality he just wanted me to change everything about me, while also putting me down every chance he got.  I get that trust is always something that is built, but belittling should not be part of that process. I learned that distance never hurts a relationship, lack of trust and respect does. So I called it quits. I opted out of my relationship with a man I thought would someday be my husband, and the father to my children, along with my life long dream of moving to California to expand myself. Nothing is worth you being unhappy all the time. So now I have no job, little to no money and the man that I was in love with is non existent.

At this point I am feeling very weak and overwhelmed with my current events, my future with school. I am 23 and have no idea what I really want in my life. I did not like my career choice, how long I've been in school already, just all of it. I fell in a pool of depression for other internal feelings and family issues. I did not want to talk to my family or friends, having a horrible attitude with everyone and having horrible devil sent thoughts. I found myself questioning my God. I was absolutely believing that all the things that were going on with me were to break me down. I had an ending of the whole depression ordeal and just got up and allowed the devil up off of me and let my God in instead. I allowed positive motivation and God to give me the strength to get up from my dungeon of a room and get better mentally, physically, and emotionally. The blessing in it all was that is just had to be DONE! I needed to be broken down so that I would be able to build back up stronger and more focused than ever.

I began to reevaluate my career choice, my job choices and my loved ones around me. I started to research things that I was able to do long term that would bring me happiness and money all in one. That is when I stumbled upon a career in communications, which has many different fields I would be able to join in. I made up my mind to make this website to network and to express myself all while helping others too. I started a part time job with an amazing company that works with my school schedule and taking time off for trips too to allow me to blog on. I got closer than ever to God and begged for forgiveness, guidance and overall love. I needed love from him, the universe and my family whom I had been neglecting because of my own demons trying to ruin me.

I am now so grateful for every single downfall I went through because I got up, got better and got stronger. You can't blame yourself for the downfalls, you can only blame yourself if you choose to stay down. Petty parties should never be accepted, you grieve for a while and then go back to wearing bright colors with a smile on your beautiful soul and face. Always look for what healthy outlets you can find to become a better you. We will always go through ugly points in our lives, some uglier than others but we have to be able to find loop holes to get back on top of the world. No one in the world can help you get better and ahead than yourself. Hardships really do turn into blessings, some in a day, or a few months or even years. Just know that it does not rain forever, your sunshine will always come out. Make sure to always believe in something and hold on to positive energy all around.

Remember more than anything to "Love and allow to be loved." xoxo